My Shepherd

     I have a little man named Shepherd. At 4 a.m. last night he lived up to his namesake for the first time in his short little life. I am exhausted, frustrated, and stripped of all MY strength. But this is exactly where HE wants me. It has been a long six weeks. Shepherd has a very LOW pain threshold. He lets everyone know that he is teething. For two weeks he cries every night for two hours straight. Every additional day of this leaves me in a deeper fog. While this is going on, three of the children and myself come down with the stomach bug. 2 a.m. vomiting sessions that require deep cleaning. Do I need say more... Meanwhile gym sessions, playdates have been cancelled. Which I think most moms would agree that this is crucial to a mom's sanity. I am alone for days on end with 4 children under 4 in a sick, fatigued fog. Just when I think life will resume to normalcy, I come down with the most horrendous cold ever. seven days. They say God will not give you anything that you can not handle. Well, I guess I can't handle being that sick with sleepless nights, because he had mercy on me, because for 6 nights everyone slept through the night. Yesterday, I was finally starting to feel like myself, even worked out. Shepherd has a fever, cough, pulling at his hear. I slept an hour. At 4 a,m, I am crying. How am I going to do this? On one hour of sleep. Take care of these 4 small children without losing my mind? So frustrated. Just want my life back. Shepherd is screaming. I rermember, he loves music. I put in my WOW hyms C.D., and he relaxes. He falls asleep on my chest. My little Shepherd takes me to my SHEPHERD. As I listen to the music, HE calms me, HE reminds me, He reassures me, that yes, there is no way one I can do it, but HE can. So here I am, in a fog, I can hardly talk, about to take 4 little people to the docter, reminding myself that the SHEPHERD can do it.