Jesus knows the Insanity

   
     Let me tell you about my last couple of weeks. First of all, have you ever potty trained twins? It is not for the faint hearted. It is like living in a swirling vortex of poo and pee. And then there is the one year old. Poor child... he does not handle pain very well at all. He is teething his molars. Every night for the last two weeks, he is awake for two hours straight, in the middle of night. He is half asleep, moaning, banging his head agaisnt his crib. No amount of pain medicine helps. My husband sleeps right through it, which is good. After two weeks of this, I feel like I have a newborn in the house again. Amongst this insanity, the stomach bug decides to visit myself and the three eldest. Four days of vomiting, diarrhea, and messy area rugs that are so bad that they have to be dragged out to the back deck so that they can be hosed down. No joke. My husband was blessed with a new full time job. Which is fantastic, but means that he is also in the process of wrapping up jobs that he had already commited to. Let me translate for you... he does not get home until after dinner time and bed time. I am on my own. For some people, this is no big deal. For me, it means, ummm... we can hold off on baths for another night. To add to the non-stop mini trials, I have a horrible chest cold while trying to care for the four blessings under four.    
           With that being said, one morning, I was cleaning urine off the floor, again, listening to my four year old say," Look at me mommy, Look at me me" for the 10th time in a minute, while trying not to throw up. Wanting to scream and cry, I reminded myself that Jesus had to endure even more insanity than this. Than the little devil on my shoulder said, " Yeah, well, he did not have four small children. " Now don't judge, I quickly flicked him off my shoulder. So, I was retelling this story to a friend of mine, when she reminded me of the story of the women who had the issue of blood in Mark 5:25. Something interesting happened to Jesus. This made me curious to see how his day started. I was a bit amused at what I had found.
    His day had started like many moms, in the middle of the night. It starts in Mark 4:35. There was a storm and Jesus was asleep. His disciples were freaking out. Look familiar. I used to love thunderstrorms. The bigger, the better. Now, the question is, which of the four is going to freak out. Or you may be up, because of throwup, teething, or nursing a newborn.
      So they land the boat, and, "immediatly a man from the tombs with an unclean spirit met Him." This man was demon possessed. In verse 5:5 it states that, "Constantly night and day, he was screaming among the tombs and in the mountains." When I get up in the morning, the first child to greet me is my 4 year old. And there are days that I have had to reestablish my authority. And sometimes it takes all day. It drains me physically and mentally. And there is great screaming and yelling from him. And there have been times that it seems the child is possesed. Now... don't deny it, you have had those moments, too.
       In vereses 21-43, he is met by a lage crowd, who had many needs that involved healing. When I am surrounded by my "large crowd" it is also for healing. This toy needs to be fixed. batteries replaced, or boo boos that need to be kissed. And, as Jesus experienced many times through the gospels, the large crowd needed to be fed.
        Not only did Jesus have four children, he had thousands of children he was ministering to in one day. The love I have for my children is indescribable. The love that Jesus has for his children is unimanginable and unmeasurable. He knows how hard my days are, his understanding is perfect. He was fully God, but also fully human.He never stopped being God, but he was totally submitted to the will of his Father, and completly depended on the Holy Spirit. That is why in verse 5:30, when the woman touches him, Jesus felt, " the power proceeding from Him had gone forth." He was being drained, and he still had a full day ahead of Him. This was the power of the Holy Spirit. Because He was fully man, he was depended on the Holy Spirit. He often went away to the wilderness, or to the garden to pray. He needed this time to ask the holy Spirit to refresh Him with this power, so that He could seek and do the will of the Father. Luke 4:1 and 4:18 speak of the holy Spirit filling Jesus to do his Fathers work.
       We are not God, but we are fully man. And just like Jesus, our power is also drained. So we, even more, need to steal away to be with the Father, and ask the Holy Spirit to fill us to do the Fathers will. Believe me, I know how difficult it is to find time to be with Him. But there are many days that I have thought to myself, "Thank you Lord, that I am your child, because without you and the Holy Spirit I could not minister to these children and love them, and not lose my mind."

Not Quite Five...

  We went. To the doctor. It was a horrendous adventure. One that I care not to repeat. It was a come to Jesus meeting for all involved. I made the descision not to bring the double stroller. Bad idea. This was not the first time. Other times it went well. They were instructed on their behavior beforehand. No wrestling, no fighting, and when the doctor is speaking and when I speak to the doctor you are to be as quiet as possible. Gavin was instructed in his role as big brother. Then apparently aliens swooped down and replaced their brain with children who did not know the wrath of this mama. It was embarrasing, so then I had to admit the sin of pride. They wrestled, they talked while the doctor talked, they crawled under the chairs. I played the daddy card when we were finally in the van. Your daddy will speak to you when he gets home. When we got home I asked Michaela, "What did you do wrong?" Her big blue eyes wide, and in her still baby voice, " I dun no" as she shrugs her shoulders. I turn to Generel, the same question. " I had bad a'tude?"  with a perplexed look on his face. Surely they remember, or did the aliens return my children just in time? And then there is Gavin. He knows. He is already apoligizing. He  also had apoligized for the same behavior he did yesterday. So I told Gavin, if you are really sorry, then show me, change your behavior. He is in his room now. It is unusually quiet. I told him to speak to Jesus about this. He says he does not want to. But it is so quiet. I have to remind myself that he is not quite five. There is hope for him. I have not ruined him yet. Said with a giggle and a sigh. I want him to love Jesus with a never ending passion, but I can't force it. So I pray for the Lord to give me wisdom, and remind myself that he is not quite five...

My Shepherd

     I have a little man named Shepherd. At 4 a.m. last night he lived up to his namesake for the first time in his short little life. I am exhausted, frustrated, and stripped of all MY strength. But this is exactly where HE wants me. It has been a long six weeks. Shepherd has a very LOW pain threshold. He lets everyone know that he is teething. For two weeks he cries every night for two hours straight. Every additional day of this leaves me in a deeper fog. While this is going on, three of the children and myself come down with the stomach bug. 2 a.m. vomiting sessions that require deep cleaning. Do I need say more... Meanwhile gym sessions, playdates have been cancelled. Which I think most moms would agree that this is crucial to a mom's sanity. I am alone for days on end with 4 children under 4 in a sick, fatigued fog. Just when I think life will resume to normalcy, I come down with the most horrendous cold ever. seven days. They say God will not give you anything that you can not handle. Well, I guess I can't handle being that sick with sleepless nights, because he had mercy on me, because for 6 nights everyone slept through the night. Yesterday, I was finally starting to feel like myself, even worked out. Shepherd has a fever, cough, pulling at his hear. I slept an hour. At 4 a,m, I am crying. How am I going to do this? On one hour of sleep. Take care of these 4 small children without losing my mind? So frustrated. Just want my life back. Shepherd is screaming. I rermember, he loves music. I put in my WOW hyms C.D., and he relaxes. He falls asleep on my chest. My little Shepherd takes me to my SHEPHERD. As I listen to the music, HE calms me, HE reminds me, He reassures me, that yes, there is no way one I can do it, but HE can. So here I am, in a fog, I can hardly talk, about to take 4 little people to the docter, reminding myself that the SHEPHERD can do it.